A True Mother's Day

I'm sitting with one of my students who is working on a journal writing assignment when I hear the ding of my cell phone. It's a rare text from daughter Aspen. She tells me J.C. Penney has included a same sex couple in their Mother's Day promo catalog. I'd received this catalog earlier in the week, but had merely skimmed it. The diversity of families: Indian American, African American, White American had impressed me, but I hadn't read the accompanying bios. I wrote a quick text reply about how great JCP is and then after teaching rushed home to review the catalog.

Since the JCP catalog was for Mother's Day, all I had first seen was a catalog filled with pictures of mothers, grandmothers, daughters and granddaughters. I hadn't noticed anything unusual. And not noticing is really an appropriate statement. For aren't all families, isn't all love the same whether gay or straight? The caption I now read begins: “You'll often find Wendi, her partner, Maggie, and daughters elbow-deep in paint, clay or mosaics. 'Even as babies, the girls toddled around in diapers, covered in paint,' said Wendi. They come from a long line of artists, which includes grandma Carolyn....” What this fashion photo, and all the other family photo bios, told me is: “Here is just another busy, happy family.” I couldn't wait to share this news with my husband, and I couldn't wait to e-mail my daughter.

The JCP ad campaign gives me such a heart-felt glow of hope. And I would hope this diversity appreciating campaign makes my gay daughter feel respected in her work place. JCP is daring to reach out to the “real melting pot America” and when I say “dare” I know there will certainly be people (and are people) who will refuse to shop at an inclusive JCP store.

As the mother of a lesbian, I am always baffled by the hurtful misconceptions surrounding what it means to be LGBTQ. I have often envisioned sitting down with fundamentally conservative mothers and simply asking: “Do you love your daughters? So do I...Do you want your daughters to be safe and happy? So do I...Do you want your daughters to find the right life partner and if they so choose to create and have a loving family? So do I.” Our human living is extremely short and doesn't it make more sense to fill it up with joy and love and laughter rather than sorrow and hate and tears?

I've written often about how it is only love and belonging everyone graves. Black, brown, red, white, gay, straight, bisexual, male, female, transgender, unisex, we are all human, all similar, all wanting this one fulfilling life. I really have never understood why we continually want to destroy rather than create or criticize others rather than enjoy the precious earthly time we have been given.

Most mothers know that the connections they have with their children are deeper, more searingly intimate than any other relationships they have ever had before or will ever have. So it is my belief that mothers will and must change society's acceptance of diversity. If you love your child, why would you want hatred or hurt towards him or her by another, and thus, why would you want to teach them to hate or hurt others? Mothers must bring us back to the basics of common sense and common decency. Wouldn't these beliefs allow us to celebrate a true Mothers' Day? © 2012